


Liquid Fire

by WitchyWriter



Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Armand tries alcohol, Daniel is depressed, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Violence, Suicide mention, What Have I Done, but they're trying, they're both hot messes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyWriter/pseuds/WitchyWriter
Summary: “Show me. I want to know what it is that alcohol makes you feel.”He was surprised, and a little scared, “What? No, I don’t want you sharing this with me. You deserve better than to be an alcoholic mess like me.”“Don’t be ridiculous, if tasting the cocaine in your blood doesn’t make me an addict then a bottle of beer won’t make me a drunkard.”
Relationships: Armand/Daniel Molloy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Liquid Fire

When I opened the door to the hotel room, I expected Daniel to be in his usual position. Laid face down in the massive bed, covers eschew, and waiting for me to be his alarm clock and wake him up with a kiss. Instead, he’s gone. I’m not particularly worried, I could always find him if I wanted to. Looking around, the room for once looks clean, the bed isn’t just a mess of fine linens and his clothes have managed to find themselves in the hamper for once. The ever-present scent of alcohol is missing from the air and the coffee maker remains untouched. 

That concerns me, Daniel being clean without my asking is a rarity. 

I walk over, looking around for any sign of him, and eventually sit on my side of the bed. There’s a small note attached to the lamp shade in Daniel’s quick and messy handwriting.

_“Don’t worry, I went out to get some essentials and I’ll be back by ten. Love, Daniel.” ___

__I place the note down on the table and look at the small bedside clock, it’s 9:55 and he should be home any minute. As though he was summoned, I hear his footsteps approach the door and a subtle knock._ _

__“Hey, I know you’re in there, can you open the door please?”_ _

__With a flick of my wrist the door swings open and Daniel stares at me, he’s always surprised when I do that. He doesn’t care for my using my powers despite them making life all the more easy for us both. I think he doesn’t like it because they make him jealous for a life he could never have, I won’t allow it._ _

__Daniel walks into the room and places two brown paper bags on the dining table, the glass inside of them making a loud clinking sound. Alcohol, he’s deemed alcohol an essential. I slink over to him and place my arms around his waist from behind, making him gasp at my sudden appearance. I watch as he takes three bottles out of the bags, Grey Goose, Red Wine and a four pack of Budweiser’s._ _

__“And who is all of this for Daniel? You’ll die if you drink all of this in one sitting.” I say, ensuring that my slight judgment be made clear._ _

__He laughs and leans back, kissing me on my cheek, “As much as I would love trying, this is all for the next week or so,” He lies, “ I’ve been trying to branch out from just Jack Daniel’s. Don’t worry, I paid for this myself so you didn’t buy into my shitty habit; I know how much you hate that.”_ _

__This didn’t make any of my judgement go away as I heard the guilt flash in his mind. He was always very concerned about how I perceived him by means of attraction. Worrying about my leaving him for someone he thought was better looking or just leaving him altogether. The one thing he didn’t care about was what I though about his alcoholism. He was a different person when the drink took him over. It all depended on the night too, an inconsistency that would change the entire mood of a week if it was bad enough. There was one night be was so depressed that I walked in on him staring over the edge of the balcony, thoughts swimming with finding the will to jump. Another where he got so mad at my refusals to give him the Dark Gift he threw a bottle of beer at my head. Of course it didn’t hit me and of course he feel to his knees and cried into my legs; apologizing and eventually falling asleep on the floor._ _

__

__“Show me. I want to know what it is that alcohol makes you feel.” I blurted out suddenly._ _

__This surprised him, and he became a little scared, “What? No, I don’t want you sharing this with me. You deserve better than to be an alcoholic mess like me.”_ _

__“Don’t be ridiculous, if tasting the cocaine in your blood doesn’t make me an addict then a bottle of beer won’t make me a drunkard.”_ _

__Daniel thought about this for a moment, calculating the risks like he always does whenever I’m involved. Almost reluctantly, he cracked open a bottle of beer on the edge of the table and handed it to me. I brought the bottle to my lips and took in a whiff of the yeast and bitter carbonation._ _

__“Now drink slowly.” He said in almost a whisper, cracking open one of his own._ _

__I took a sip, almost too big of a sip, and felt the bubbles and bitter aftertaste slide down my throat. My stomach growled in an act of protest but eventually subsided as I slowly took more sips. This was absolutely disgusting, and my face showed it. By the time I had emptied the bottle, Daniel was already halfway through his second. His eyes closed and his head tilted completely back, letting the liquid take control of the pace, him simply going along for the ride._ _

__“Daniel, you have the nerve to tell me to drink slowly while you’re over there guzzling like a lion at a waterhole, have some manners. Now hand me the last one, I want to try your way.”_ _

__He brought his head down and reached for the bottle, hesitating slightly while looking into my eyes to make sure I was alright. I thought it was hysterical when he did that, searching me for some underlying motive as though he was an immortal. He knew he would find nothing every time, but each time he gazed at me he hoped to one day find something._ _

__I finished the second bottle his way in less than a minute, coughing as the last drop fell into my gut. Even Daniel was surprised, now sitting in one of the chairs at the table and struggling to pop the cork off the bottle of wine. I sat down next to him and pulled the cork off of the bottle with one hand._ _

__“You don’t expect us to polish off each of these bottles do you?” He asked me, one eyebrow cocked, “I mean we can certainly try.”_ _

__I smacked his chest, “Don’t be absurd, you’ll surely get alcohol poisoning and I’ll be too intoxicated to save you. We’ll both have a glass of each one and that’s that.”_ _

__He looked almost disappointed, his thoughts already debating about which he’ll drink first after I’ve gone for the day. Daniel poured the red wine into two glasses expertly. My mouth began to salivate, despite knowing it wasn’t, my eyes only saw blood and my stomach couldn’t wait for it’s usual meal._ _

__I went to take my first sip, but Daniel put his hand over the top of the glass to stop me, “I thought you being so rich you would at least know how to drink wine right. You’re supposed to swirl it and smell it like this.” He began to demonstrate and gestured for me to do the same. It smelt like fruit and small dashes of flowers._ _

__And it tasted almost equally as disgusting, the look on my face once again hiding nothing. Daniel laughed out loud, his head falling back in a fit of bitter joy this time rather than in gluttony._ _

__“You really are a harsh critic Armand, the guy at the store said it was one of their best.”_ _

__I recoiled, pushing the glass over to Daniel and cringing, “Well he was a bloody liar, you certainly don’t drink that for the taste do you?”_ _

__His eyes darkened for a moment as he looked at me, a sad smile taking over his face, “We haven’t gotten to the one that I drink to forget, I do actually drink those for flavor.”_ _

__The air in the room got stale as he opened the foil lid on the Grey Goose. I stirred in my seat a little as it seemed something took over him, he quickly poured two glasses of the clear liquid like it was going to run away. His eyes barely met mine as he threw it back into his throat carelessly, his entire body folding in on itself afterwards. He wiped his mouth and poured himself another, my hand rushing out and clutching onto his wrist stopping him from inhaling the next._ _

__“I said only one each didn’t I?” I whispered looking into his violet eyes, shimmers of sadness flooding his irises._ _

__He put the cup down slowly and pushed it to the side, “I’m sorry.”_ _

__I stared into the glass in my fist, the liquor so clear I could see my fingers. Reluctantly, I let the alcohol make its way into my body. It felt like a stream of fire flooding it’s way into every nerve in my skull, it made my fangs ache and my eyes reach their ends. Drinking this was pain, there was no taste, simply a burning sensation that tainted everything it touched. When it was all gone, I threw the glass across the room and felt blood tears rim my eyes. With the drugs there was a feeling, a sense of ecstasy that took over the body and made you feel like you were floating. This was pain, there was no joy or emotion or rush of release._ _

__I understood now, and he knew it._ _

__“You drink this to hurt yourself don’t you?” I asked, but I already knew the answer._ _

__Daniel nodded slowly, tears overflowing his eyes as he pushed the chair out and gestured for me to sit on his lap. I accepted, slowly walking over to him and falling onto him.We collapsed into each other, him attaching himself around my waist and burying his head in my hair and me shoving myself deep into his chest. I felt my hair start to get wet as he began to cry harder._ _

__“A heart is a heavy burden Armand and a mind is even heavier. I don’t know how to be alone, how to deal with myself and make it all stop. I know that you’re here and you love me, but when you leave it’s just me again. It’s so loud in there sometimes and the only thing that makes it stop is this shit. I’m too much of a pussy to actually hurt myself, so I just drink until I don’t know where the fuck I am anymore. It works well enough until I wake up alone again and every fucked up part of me comes back to haunt me.”_ _

__I wasn’t used to feeling so much, it hurt my chest. I protect Daniel from others out to get him constantly; muggers, greedy vampires, drug dealers. But I couldn’t protect him from himself. I could only read his thoughts, not tell him to stop having them. My tears stained the front of his shirt and made him look as though he’s been shot._ _

__It was such a gory sight, but then again, weren’t we?_ _

__“I’m sorry that when I leave you feel this pain, if I could stay-“ He interrupted me with a kiss. It was messy and sad, our tears mixing together marking our unity._ _

__“Don’t ever apologize for leaving, I would rather be alone for a morning than have you die and be alone for the rest of my life.”_ _

__We sat in that cherrywood chair, holding each other and riding out the wracking fits of sobs that took over our bodies. I didn’t know what to do with myself or how to handle my love, my Daniel being in so much pain he drinks liquid fire to get away. I pulled away from him slowly, wrapping my cold fingers slowly around his face and kiss the bags enveloped under his beautiful eyes._ _

__“Tell me, show me everything that’s hurt you, please, I can’t have you do this alone.”_ _

__He looked at me, the tears carving rivers into his hollow cheeks, and nodded slowly, “I love you.” He said in a raspy whisper._ _

__“You have my soul.” I whispered back._ _


End file.
